Celebrating Women’s Month

Neglect doesn’t even begin to cover the way I have been treating this blog but hopefully that will change. A lot of things have happened since I last posted something: I have a new nephew and a niece (yes new because I have like 621 older ones, kidding), Melania Trump happened, Brexit happened and the ‘p’ on my laptop stopped working and just two days ago South Africa celebrated the 12^th national women’s day.

South Africa’s national women’s day commemorates the 1956 protest against the Urban Areas Act of 1950. The protest was led by (among others) Lilian Ngoyi, Helen Joseph, Rahima Moosa and Sophia Williams. The month of August is dedicated to not only celebrating women who’ve played a significant role in shaping South Africa's past and its future but also to celebrate the seemingly ordinary woman that has survived a world designed to accommodate the man. Although South Africa has made great strides since the march of 9 August 1956 it has yet to see a female president and women are still marginalized.

Source: SAHistory

    

Source: Allan Grey Orbis Foundation

Source: Google Arts and Culture

Although formal red tape around women entering industries like engineering, medicine and law enforcement has been removed, a virtual tape still exists. Evidence of the fact that there is a glass ceiling in these industries is the fact that of the total number of engineers registered with the Engineering Council of South Africa, only 11% are women and only 4% are professional engineers (Marna Thompson). Marginalization of women does not manifest itself in occupation choices and career progress only but also in the sexualization, abuse and objectification of women.

The marginalization, sexualization and objectification of women seems to see no end. Although there are many fighting to see women treated as equals with men, treated with dignity and respect and see the violence against women and children come to an end, rape culture continues to make bold faced appearances and rearing its grotesque head. Women are still payed less than men (for doing the exact same job as men) in many sectors and rape incidents are still on a hike.

I don’t know if I’m the only one who finds social media and social networks (such as Facebook and Instagram) a little sexist. Women still cannot post pictures with their nipples showing on Facebook or Instagram without being banned (temporarily) from either social network. Breastfeeding in public is still considered shameful and inappropriate by some (as if they’ve never seen boob before, and they were not nurtured by the same organ they now find ‘inappropriate’). “What did she think would happen when she wore a skirt that short” is still a phrase spoken regarding female rape victims. And I’m still 1 of (at most) 20 girls in my class of at least 150 students.

Sure, there are various organizations and movements dedicated to improving the woman’s prospects and circumstance. Organizations like WomEng (which I was fortunate enough to be a part of this year). And movements like #EndRapeCulture, #1MillionGirlsInSTEM and many others. However, progress remains slow and tedious. But, as the saying goes, anything worth anything takes time. But to what end is all this effort?

As much as I care about all that I have mentioned above, I also can’t help but wonder if it’s worth it. Obviously this statement does not relate to anything that has to do with rape or violence against women and children. But I mean all the fuss we make about having women in Engineering and what not all. Is it really worth it trying to get girls to want to be lawyers and whatever? Are we not forcing nature and changing the dynamics of the universe for nothing? Don’t get me wrong, I love engineering. I dream of nothing else but to solder all day and burn my fingers and do cool stuff that will change the way that humanity does things. I’m all about the engineering life, but is the engineering life for me (and other women)? What if we’re working so hard to get 1 million girls in STEM only to have 500 000 of those depressed (even though they are in STEM)? This is not me being an anti-feminazi but it’s worth a thought.

Even though I have my qualms about how far we are to take this ‘career women’ movement there is no doubt that there is still a lot of work to be done. To at least give women equal opportunities in the tech industry (and let the paint or whatever if they don’t like it), and to reduce crimes against women and children. I do believe that women bring a fresh perspective to things in general and are therefore an integral part of any process. But most importantly I think women deserve freedom, freedom to do whatever they want regardless of what it is that they actually want.

 Subscribe to Stellies Afro Chick:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

Men and Makeup

I’m going through this phase of really long but empty days. Today was one of those and I found myself watching a contouring tutorial for guys and it got me thinking “why isn’t makeup for guys a thing?” I don’t know about you but I have never seen an advert that even hints at make up for guys.

The reality is that guys have skin problems too and for some the makeup would really go a long way to boosting their confidence. Or maybe guys just don’t have confidence problems? It doesn’t have to include long winged eyelashes and eyeliner like women’s make up but small things like contouring and stuff. Sure I myself don’t know jack about makeup and makeup jargon because I prefer to look like a zombie ninety percent of the time but foundation and some bronzer wouldn’t hurt, right? Even if it isn’t an everyday thing but for special events like graduation or your wedding or just a date.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Don’t guys watch movies and adverts and think ‘I want to look like that’? I want to have eyebrows like that or a jawline like that or whatever guys want?

Look at Beckham, he's sexy! But you bet your breakfast his eyebrows aren’t that thick (unless he had implants at some point, I don’t even know if this is scientifically possible) but you get what I’m saying… He could be wearing mascara and you can’t even tell (assuming he’s wearing any). He just looks great! Guys on television do it all the time but sold as natural.

And the Asian community (Korean specifically) are already ahead. Have you seen how fresh ALL Asian guys look? That’s because they’re already way ahead in the makeup industry and they do so without looking gay, not that there’s anything wrong with looking gay, makeup isn’t just for gay men actually. Check out these before and after pictures, although the guys come nowhere near Beckham but they look pretty good with the makeup!

Source:MiszPosh

Source: beautymakeuptutorial

Source: 

There really is no shame in wearing makeup up as a guy and I don't understand why there aren't more guys doing it. There is a market for make up for men and it’s just sitting there patiently waiting to be harvested. 

 Subscribe to Stellies Afro Chick:

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

"The One"

Source: blackchristiannews

Man’s plight: the desire to marry. Somehow we all ate a bug that modified our genetic description and made us all so fond of not only finding “The One” but also marrying "The One", because duh, what’s the point of finding him/her/shim/himsh and whatever if you’re not going to marry him, right? And OBVIOUSLY once you’ve found him you have to marry him because in this day and age people don’t do this thing of living together without marrying (eye roll)!

I, for one, haven’t been for nor particularly against marriage, I just don’t want to die alone and if this means that I have to marry then so be it. I’m also not very trusting, particular reference to potential husband (should this happen). I cannot be certain that he won’t one day wake up and decide that I’m too fat for his liking and leave me, so I’d prefer to have children instead. And marriage has the added benefit of children. My kids can’t really leave me (at least not for eighteen years), they have no other option but to love me. And you’re probably thinking that I don’t need to marry to have children, however… I’m a tad conservative so I'd prefer to be married if I have children.

But seriously, how is it that one of the highest ranking human desires is to marry? Where does this desire come from that it plights both genders (and all the others in between) and across nationalities and races?

Perhaps the desire to be with someone in matrimony has a religious background. The Christian Bible at some point (I’m pretty sure of this) says multiply and fill the earth. However, a condition of sexual relations in the Bible is marriage, hence our desire to marry. Islam, Bahá'í faith, and other religions also prohibit pre-marital sex. Buddhism encourages people to not be attached to nor crave sensual pleasure (which removes them from this argument completely).

The religion argument could easily hold if we actually waited until we’re married to have sex.  If we were in such a hurry to be married because we want to have sex perhaps then our intense desire would be justified by the religious background. But the reality is: hardly anyone waits until marriage to have sex these days. I doubt that the death of Saving-myself-for-marriage was even mourned.

Said religion could also be the reason behind Saving-myself-for-marriage’s unfortunate death. The fact that women expect to marry the person they’re dating (or are being courted by) and if they are to marry they are going to end up having sex with the person anyway so they might as well do it before marriage. Which sort makes sense if you consider the fact that the anthem of this generation is: “why date him if you’re not going to marry him?”.

Perhaps the oppression of women in history would explain our desire for marriage (at least for women). Women’s sexuality has been rejected, not recognized, acknowledged and even scorned in the past. And perhaps marriage was the only way that women could be sexual and express their sexuality. Married women could be said to have been allowed to be more free about their sexuality.  They could hide their pleasure behind trying to please their husbands, perhaps.

This argument fails once again because women in the twenty first century women have more freedom than they did in the twentieth and earlier centuries. We are sexual beings; this is acknowledged even though we don’t have as much freedom as men do. So the sexuality argument can’t play too much of a role.

Two friends of mine attributed it to movies and our parents. The first one because the media sells both sex and the butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling. The idea behind most movies (and this is inclusive of action movies) is that someone somewhere out there will look at you with fire in his eyes and melt your butter heart. Since the saying goes “You are what you watch, listen to, and talk about” this could be true.

The second one said it was because of our parents. We want the love that they have (or don’t have) and it creates the longing to find someone. When you know you parents have been together since the stone age and are still together and love and support each other like they only met a year ago you can’t help but want the same for yourself. It could also be the absence of one of your parents, seeing you mother (or your father) struggle as a single parent could lead you to vow to never have to go through what they’ve had to go through by yourself.

Because of this desire and idea we have of marriage we find ourselves too committed to infant relationships (or maybe I’m just a commitment-phoebe). We find ourselves in serious relationship one after serious relationship and leaving pieces of ourselves, our happiness and our souls with every Jabu, Thabo and Sizwe (Tom, Dick and Harry) we date. Maybe our desire for marriage is a cause for many social and psychological issues. Body image issues, lack of self-esteem, and many other similar issues.

Although it could be said that my conclusion is unfounded and lacks evidence but I think it’s one that’s worth exploring. If marriage is as important to people as it seems to be, then what are its effects? According to the laws of nature everything has a cause and effect. I’ve tried exploring the causes but I can’t begin to explore the effects. At the end of the day the question is this obsession healthy but most importantly is it worth it?

 Subscribe to Stellies Afro Chick:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner